Because Halloween is coming up, and in honour of Populus’s epic collaboration with House of Horror (and, to be entirely honest, because I like doing them), I’m going to celebrate with another “Loose Thoughts” column, this one about Halloween in St Andrews, based on things that have happened to me in my three years here.
1) It’s really weird seeing people you only know from lectures going out for Halloween. Like the only frame of reference I have for you is you making astute points in tutorials, and then, boom, you’re in the Union dressed up as a Sexy Jack the Ripper
2) On that note, what even is a Sexy Jack the Ripper?
3) Actually, not going to get into that debate because I’m currently trying to avoid getting swept up in the crowds outside the Union. All I’m gonna say is, anyone who dresses up as “sexy” anything for Halloween deserves a medal. It’s fucking cold lads.
4) Have managed to get past. Some people really go all out with their costumes, I’m impressed.
5) That said, I’m reasonably sure I’ve just walked past a couple of people I know without recognising them because of it in the last couple of hours which isn’t great.
6) Speaking of, HOLY SHIT IS THAT SALLY MAPSTONE DRESSED AS A VAMPIRE?
7) No. No it isn’t.
8) That looks nothing like Sally Mapstone. I’m not even sure she’s dressed as a vampire.
10) Moving on, I wonder what the thought process was that lead from “Let’s celebrate a holiday by letting young kids run around pestering strangers for sweets” to “Let’s drink and party like we usually do, BUT DRESSED AS MONSTERS.”
11) Actually, no I don’t wonder at all. It’s blindingly obvious. We’re students.
12) That said, shout out to all the people who aren’t using Halloween as an excuse to get blackout. There is nothing wrong with staying at home, and if I hadn’t picked the worst possible night to go to Tesco, that’s what I’d be doing.
13) Is it perhaps symbolic that I run out of things to say on point thirteen of my list?
14) Probably not.
15) Something else that bugs me about Halloween- why has everyone on Twitter changed their names to Halloween-themed puns? You guys are adults.
16) Although, that said, the main reasons it bugs me is because I can’t think of a good one for my name.
17) Actually, this is giving me stressful flashbacks to the time I got nicknamed Jamie Saville in high school.
18) I had envisioned this article being much more wholesome.
19) To end on a better note (INSERT SHIT ABOUT HOW WELL HOH WENT IF THIS GOES OUT AFTER HALLOWEEN?)
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